I disagreed with many aspects of the required reading for this week, Building Relationships Where People are Real (http://www.theworkingcentre.org/wscd/gwn/article1/article1.html). In the article, Kenneth Westheus presents the word, reciprocity, as a way to live. He explains that hierarchy and reciprocity are mutually exclusive, and offers a list of ways to live in a reciprocal way. I will explain my criticisms of his article and then explain Westheus's response to my criticisms.
One of Westheus's axioms is to avoid people who had been swallowed up by the hierarchy. I found this to be a bizarre way to change society. To me, nothing will change if you only talk to like-minded individuals. Furthermore, I do not think that hierarchy and reciprocity need to be mutually exclusive.
My criticisms stemmed from a misinterpretation of his purpose. After encouragement from my professor, I emailed Westheus and he explained that he was not attempting to change society, but offer a word. Therefore, my criticisms of his axioms for practicing reciprocity were unfounded.
Westhues furthered explained that hierarchy and reciprocity are mutually exclusive by definition. Hierarchy places one above another, and reciprocity is about equality and mutual attention. However even with further explanation, I believe that there are areas in hierarchal relationships where there could be reciprocity. For instance, last year, I and another female classmate were asked by the Math Faculty to discuss with Computer Science professors ways to keep women in their undergraduate Computer Science program. I, a lowly student on the totem pole of university, was asked by administration and professors to have a conversation about this topic. In the two-hour meeting, titles and positions were shed, and we discussed what could be done. After the meeting, everyone returned to their ranks in the university hierarchy. The point is there can be elements of reciprocity in hierarchy, and there are points where it is mutually exclusive. However, on the tone of last post, I do not think there should be a blanket generalization.
In addition, I think there are situations where reciprocity might not be appropriate or warranted. I do not know multivariate calculus, and I do not want my professor to ask me what I would like to learn. I want her to teach me everything, and I want to listen. I am using this to illustrate that there are places and situations where reciprocity might be counter productive, and not useful.
Despite my skepticism of reciprocity, Westheus had an interesting idea. I started to wonder what word I would off up to society for contemplation. To be honest, it is difficult to think of only one word. However after much deliberation, I have chosen a word. It relates to my New Years Resolution and Beyond Borders. The word is perspective.
I think we should attempt to keep perspective not only in personal interactions and obligations but also of our society and culture in comparison to others. Keeping perspective allows me to live a more balanced lifestyle.
The reason why I offer this word is because I think it is all too easy to loose perspective. Its easy to get caught up and think what is happening to use is the be all end all.
I want to note that I do not think perspective means maintaining composure and sensibility all the time. Living in perspective is being able to contemplate and reflect on the relevance of what you are experiencing in comparison to your larger situation locally and globally.
In the theme of Westheus, I feel I should provide ways to live in perspective. I gain perspective when walking and showering. These are special moments in my day where I don’t have constant infiltration of information. What I recommend is finding those few minutes in your own day, and use them to think and reflect.
This is my word. I ask anyone reading this to take up the same challenge and post a comment. What word would you offer to society as a way to live?
I just love that you emailed him and posed the question and, better still, entered into a discussion that led you to a completely different...wait for it... perspective! Brilliant :)
ReplyDeleteI would offer the word: proportion. Not in opposition to reciprocity or perspective, but as an alternative. One of my goals is to give to each activity that amount of energy which is proportionate to the importance of the activity and also to reflect my ability to have an impact. Perhaps this is a by product of having perspective? When you achieve the right stance in regards to what you are doing, then you can devote an appropriate, proportionate amount of your resources to it. This practice is reciprocal in that you don't think only about what you want or will receive (hierarchical stance), but that you try to balance both. Maybe that's the right word, the one that subsumes all three: balance.
ReplyDeleteI would agree with both balance and proportion as guiding principals, but would like to add that I think we need to remember what decisions we do ask other people to make for us. When we walk into a store for example, we do not negotiate with every supplier the products (representing the choices) that are offered to us. Through our patronage we are saying that we approve of the choices that we have asked the vendor to make. This is a way of accepting a hiearchical relationship, and these middlemen relationships are important and I believe that we should be more cognizant of when we give our decisions away out of necessity, and to know who we are giving them away to.
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